Liquid Personality
by Winged Monkey
Summary: Oneshot. Prompt 60:100. When Michelangelo finds an old magazine, craziness spreads through the lair. *Formerly called "One Lump or Two?"*


_A/N: I changed the title from "One Lump or Two?" to "Liquid Personality"_

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything more than a plot and the title is also the name of a song by Faktion**

Prompt 60, Drink

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It was a relatively quiet day in the lair. Like normal, both Raphael and Leonardo were in the dojo, one on the punching bag and the other practicing katas. Master Splinter had disappeared into his room after the morning's training session and Donatello had done likewise into his laboratory. Michelangelo, on the other hand, was sprawled across the couch in front of the televisions, busily digesting all the information from a magazine he had recently found lying next to a dumpster. He turned the page and an article caught his eye. A mischievous smirk spread across his face. He thought for a moment before turning and yelling to his brothers in the dojo.

"Leo, you're a tea!"

The utter randomness broke through the eldest turtle's concentration and he stopped mid swing. "I'm a what?"

"Tea! You know, like that stuff you drink every morning?"

Leonardo turned to Raphael who was watching his two brothers with much amusement. "Did he just try to insult me?"

Raphael shrugged and then hit the punching bag again. Sand drizzled out of a seam on the side. "If he did, that's the lamest one I've ever heard."

"And Raph, you're a Spiked Mexican Hot Chocolate!"

It was Raphael's turn to be confused. He didn't like to be confused and it showed plainly on his face. "Mikey, what the shell're you talking about?"

"Tell you later!" The youngest bounded off of the sofa. "I've got to go ask Donny somethin'!"

Leonardo rolled his eyes and sighed before settling back into his routine as Raphael ignored his punching bag and started to climb up the stairs. "You're going to follow him?"

"Yeah, what of it? I'm gonna find out what the dipstick's up to."

Leonardo shook his head and sheathed his katana. "Guess I should come too just in case Donny's does something drastic."

"What, and stop all the fun?"

"Who said I would stop it?" The eldest turtle's eyes danced in anticipation. "I want to see too!"

Meanwhile, Michelangelo was sitting on a chair trying to be good and not stick his face directly over Donatello's shoulder. The last time his curiosity had gotten the better of him, his brother had somehow managed to hack his favorite video game and make all of the characters wear pink tutus.

"Come on, Don! Can I tell you now?"

Donatello gave an annoyed grunt, put down his screwdriver, and pushed up his magnifying glasses as he turned around in his chair.

"Mikey, what is so important that you have to tell me _right now_?"

The youngest gave him his best 'I'm so glad you asked' look. "You're water!"

Donatello took a deep breath and quickly recited the first seventeen digits of pi. "Yes, in a way, I suppose we're all technically water since, after all, our main bodies are composed of between fifty and seventy-five percent water, though our shells are made up of a different combination of—"

"No, no, no. I mean, you're _like_ water," Michelangelo interrupted, forestalling the biology lecture. "Y'know, the stuff that comes out of the faucet? Not that icky sewage stuff, but good ol'fashioned H2O."

"I am perfectly aware what water is, Michelangelo." The older turtle's eyes turned a steely grey. "Though why you insisted on interrupting my work for the sole purpose of telling me that I am a liquid is currently beyond my powers of understanding."

"Or why ya called me a cocoa," Raphael added from the doorway.

Michelangelo looked back towards him and became slightly alarmed that his only escape route was being blocked by the two eldest turtles. The lump in his throat forced itself down before it allowed him to give his trademark smirk. "Not cocoa, Raph. Spiked Mexican Hot Chocolate!"

"Whatev."

"Mikey," Don turned back to him, "explain. Now."

The orange-clad turtle smiled broadly back at his brother, successfully hiding nervousness that he was feeling. After all, while Leo and Raph could be nerve-wracking when upset, Donatello could easily bring to mind every horror movie involving a mad scientist. "Well, you see, I found this old magazine that had this personality quiz in it and those are you guys' answers!"

Leonardo raised one eyeridge. "What sort of quiz was it? How to tell what sort of drink you are?"

"Something like that." Michelangelo beamed. "Leo, you're tea 'cause you can be either warm or cold, can be very intense when you want to be, but also can be very comforting and protect from bad stuff. And Raph is a hothead but is actually really kinda sweet and strong while still always having a kick and you've got to be a bit careful with him, so he's the Spiked Mexican Hot Chocolate."

"While all that makes perfect sense and I find it very unsurprising that Raph turned out to be an alcoholic beverage," Donatello crossed his arms, "am I water because of how boring you think I am?"

"No, the youngest responded emphatically. "You're water 'cause you can do anything and make anything and you can get hot sometimes, but usually you're pretty cool an' calm."

"Oh." The purple-clad turtle was surprised at the enthusiastic description of himself. "Then what about you, Mikey?"

"Guess!"

The other three turtles exchanged glances. "An energy drink."

Michelangelo cracked up laughing. "You dudes all jinxed each other! Anyway," he looked from face to face, "how'd you know?"

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_So, did you like it? Please let me know if you did! (or if you didn't, or if you have any CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms) Flames will be used to warm something, I'm sure, but it's too hot to think about exactly what I would want warm at this time. :)_


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